My tuatological Being is contradictory.

The illusion of time as a linear-line works well when it's not broken.  However, Beings are in-the-past, in-the-future, are the-present.  Events in the past and future are alive and meaningful for us today, and they are always changing their Meaning.  If we were involved in a series of now, neither past or future, would hold anything for us.  What do our Illusions do for us but strip meaning away?  Meaning seems to come in through the cracks, to be an ever-present pressure, Meaning waits patiently, Meaning Cares, but Meaning doesn't care.

Illusions separate things into black and white.  Meaning joins separation, unites seeming opposites, is the line that connects.  Black and white are both colors, both things, scientifically barren objects to be measured.  Black is not the opposite of white, black as a color has nothing to do with white, other than colorness (and I suppose that the scientist could further argue that even this is not true, as one is the absence of color and one contains all colors). 

When the idea is introduced that black and white are opposites, somehow warring parties opposed to each other, trying hard to get as far away from the other, Meaning comes in and grabs hold of two concepts, and in the hands of Meaning these concepts are not only unified, but separated!  Meaning holds apart these colors to make them opposites, and holds them together in the strength of Contradiction.

What is contradictory is often the same, if not always the same.  Life and death, something and nothing, yes and no, they are the same in that meaning is joining them by holding them apart.  By pushing dualities to opposite ends of the spectrum, by making things into a contradiction, Meaning holds them together.  Where are we on the line between life and death?  Why is there something instead of nothing?  By saying no, what am I saying yes to?

Is this Meaning just another Illusion too?  If things are really not opposite, is it not an illusion to posit them as enemies?  Is there no Meaning and merely meaning?  The answer to this is of course contradictory: yes and no.  Meaning is annihilated and born in the same breath.  What is the Meaning of Illusion?  If illusion is bad, that is its Meaning.  If the glasses of Illusion are done away with, and this is deemed to be good, then once again Meaning, and Illusion, sneak back in.  After all Meaning and Illusion are opposites, contradictions, one carries weight and one is a sham...how are these opposites held together?  What is the third other trying to hold onto both while pushing them away?  Being. 

Being gives objectivity and subjectivity, things and together-things, something and nothing, meaning and meaningless, black and white yes and no right and wrong up and down there and here past and future life and death, contradiction and tautology.  and gives them all via Meaning.